Raging Clue, Point Me In The Right Direction
by KinkyEyepatchShit
Summary: Kenny McCormick is a People Person. Especially when the pants are off and the lights are on. Drabble series involving Kenny's many interactions with the citizens of South Park. Slash abounds. Rated for language and implications.
1. Chapter 1

AN: So after days of fuckery with my Kenny muse, this was the result. Kenny's interaction with the citizens of South Park. Dirty, foul, sexy, kinky interactions. Usually involving his mouth and 'ew its all sticky' situations. This is my first posting of South Park shiz to ffn so uh, good luck, me?

1. In The Dark [Kenny/Craig]

"Kenny, get your hand off my nuts."

"Dude, just cuz the lights are out doesn't mean I'm gonna molest you or anythin. I can do that enough when the lights are on."

"We're the only ones here and you're right next to me, dumbass."

"Well you're not exactly complainin."

2. Threesome [Kenny, Craig, Butters]

"This isn't exactly what comes to mind when I think of threesomes."

"Just shut up and stop wiggling so fucking much before I do something about it."

"Oh yeah? Somethin' like what? I sincerely hope it involves me on my back."

"F-fellas, I can move to another s-seat if ya want...'m sure Eric'll let m-me sit with him..."

"Put a lid in it, Butters."

"Yeah Buttercup, you're more than welcome here in my lap or between my thighs."

"Down boy."

"Oh yeah, man? Suck or swallow? I do so love to follow orders."

"Oh h-hamburgers!"

3. Date Night [Stan, Kenny]

"What do you _mean_ that was a good movie?! Wendy dragged me to go see it and I fell asleep ten minutes into it. What's your secret, dude?"

"H and B, dude. H and B. It makes even the shittiest of movies seem fuckin' rad."

"The hell is H and B?"

"Head and Buttsex."

"Aw-awww, Kenny, come on! I don't want to hear about the shit you and Craig do in the back of movie theaters!"

"Who ever said we were in the back, Stan the man?"

4. Real Deal [Kenny, Craig, Christophe]

"Now _this_ is what I'm talkin' about when I say threesomes."

"I'm going to kick your fucking face in when I get untied you fucker! Just you wait. I'm not letting this french asshole fuck me!"

"Never fear babe, you're not the one gettin' fucked by him tonight. Just sit back....and relax."

"Zis wazn't exactly part of ze contract, Kenny."

"No, but I don't hear you complainin', Tophers."

"Call me zat again and you'll be acquainted wiz my shovel."

"Oho, I love it when you talk dirty to me."

5. Season's Greetings [Craig/Kenny]

"Yo."

"Hey dude. You look like shit."

"Aw you're so sweet, it warms my heart."

"Cut the crap and get your ass in here, you fucking reek."

"Yeah, blame the gigantic mutant turkey."

"Nothing says Happy Holidays like the destruction of this piece of shit town."

"No shit....Soo...how big of a chance is there that I can join you for a shower?"

"I'd say its pretty high."

"Sweet! Nothin' says healin' like buttsex in the shower. Don't forget to drop the soap."

"Yeah, yeah, hurry up and take your pants off, dilhole."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: These next five are all Craig/Kenny soooo, enjoy?

6. Clouds

"Hey, hey look! That one looks like a cock!"

"Why did I come here with you again?"

"Because I told you I'd give you a blowjob if you cloud-watched with me."

"Right. Still waiting on that."

7. Bumper Cars

"I'm going to regret asking this but. What is it called?"

"Bumper Cars."

"Someone has actually sat down and determined that this sex position and bumper cars relate."

"Yup. Never said people weren't fucked up, dude."

"No kidding."

"Soooo....wanna try it, big boy?"

"Go eat a dick and die."

"Been there, done that. Let's try something new!"

8. One Up

"I dunno dude, pretty sure fuckin' in the snow one ups that by a long shot."

"Tch, that's bullshit. Doing the horizontal tango in my grandparents bed totally pwns everything."

"Horizontal tango? Ahaha, you faggot."

"Says the dumbass that takes it up the ass everyday."

"Touche."

9. Romance is Relative

"Uhhnn... my balls ache. Put it in already, douche."

"Wow, I am floored by your romantic side."

"Nothing is more romantic than your cock up my ass, so get to it, before I do it for you."

"Whatever, bitch."

10. Midnight

"What're you doin' here, man? It's fuckin' late."

"I was just in the neighborhood, decided to drop by."

"Uh huh....Craig, what the hell's goin' on?"

"Nothing asshole, don't worry about it."

"Bad dream?"

"........No."

"Riiiiight. Look, if you're worried I won't come back some day, then simmer down. I'll always come back, ya know? Someone needs to keep your sweet ass in line."

"I don't give a shit whether you come back or not. Its not like I like you or some homo bullshit like that."

"Oh of course not, babe. You're straighter than Cartman's jew complex."


	3. Chapter 3

11. Fa la la la la, la la la la [Crenny]

"Thank you lord for this wonderful meal of…pop tarts. It would be nice if you could get off our nuts and give us some real goddamnl help, but we're grateful for what we have now. Amen."

"........How come you ain't eatin' yer pop tarts, boy?"

"Cause I'm allergic to strawberry pop tarts, sir."

"Did you just flip me off ya little shit?"

"No."

"Yes you did! Just now! Why I oughtta kick your ass for that, disrespectin' me in mah goddamn house!"

"Stewart! Be polite to our guest, ya asshole!"

"And this is why I said we should've taped your fingers down."

"Fuck off."

"Hey, that's uncalled for. I'm gonna put that finger somewhere if you don't cut it out."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, asshole. Wait till they pass out. We'll find out exactly what your mysterious middle finger can do."

"I look forward to it."

12. Talk Dirty To Me [Kenny/Christophe]

"Mm, your shovel is so big and long."

"Yez, zat is 'ow it waz...manufactured."

"I just want to lick every inch of it with my tongue and then shove it up my-"

"Wait, we are zalking about my dick, non?"

"No shit, dude, I'm not gonna shove your goddamn bloody, metal shovel up my ass. It wouldn't fit, no matter how loose I am up in there."

"Glad zo know even you 'ave standards."

"Yeah well speaking of standards, I'd like you to stand there and fuck me already. I've gotta be somewhere in ten minutes."

"Zen let us get zo eet."

"Aha, french really is the worlds language of fuckin'."

"Ze proper zaying eez love, beetch."

"Hey, none of that, five minutes, whip it out and put it in."

"Sheet."

13. Jesus is Rad [Crenny, Rev. Micheals]

"Now boys, the lord will not pardon you and allow you into his domain of heaven if you continue on like this."

"Thats fine, dude, heaven's for pussy mormons, anyway."

"Kenny! Watch your mouth in the house of god!"

"Whatever, can we go now?"

"Did you just display your middle finger to a reverand of god, young man?!"

"Yup."

"Look Rev, Jesus is rad and shit, but I don't think he'll mind a little heavy pettin' in the back pews."

"Excuse me!? I set up this conference to speak with you two about the prank you pulled at sunday school last week!"

"Ohhhhh. Right. That makes sense."

"Well fuck."

14. Death is Only the Beginning [Kenny, Damien]

"You are going to be sent back in another two days, why are you so intent on returning today?"

"You must not have heard me the first time. So let me repeat myself...HE'S GONNA BE IN A FUCKIN' SKIRT YOU DOUCHE! SEND ME BACK NOW!"

"Your sick fetishes have nothing to do with me, Kenneth. It is in your best interest to-"

"A SKIRT, DUDE. A MOTHERFUCKIN' SKIRT!"

"Interrupt me again and you shall feel my wrath, mortal."

".......okay, okay think....think about Pip in a skirt. You'll understand with that image in mind."

"What does he have to do with anything?"

"You blew the kid up in fourth grade, blowin' up is only so close to blowin' his dick."

15. Guilible to a G [Kenny/Butters]

"G-gee I dunno Kenny...I just don't th-think this is right..."

"C'mon Buttercup, this'll be fine. Have I ever lied to you?"

"Well there was that one t-time I dressed up as a g-g-girl, and when you said there w-was candy in the bottom of your pocket and-"

"Those weren't lies, just technicalities. This time I mean it."

"....S-so there really IS p-pie in your fridge? For realsies?"

"Yes Butters. For realsies. All you have to do is bend over."

"O-o-okay, Ken, if you say so."

"Hehe. Sweet ol' buttercup."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: You guys get a semi-long one this week. Yayyy~ A few lines of dialog are actually from a friend of mine who rps as my Craig. So next time you hear about Norikumi, go hey. You're an ass. A damn good one at that.

16. Resident Asshole [Crenny]

"Argh, fuckin- goddammit you shitty zombie fucks, die already!"

"HEY. Zombies were people too."

"You're only saying that because you were a zombie like, twice."

"Har, har smartass. That was once. The other time I was a fuckin' ghost."

"Oooh, fancy."

"Fuck you, asswipe."

"Been there, done that."

"Backwards too."

"Yeah...speaking of dead shit."

"Uh huh?"

"I'm going to die one day."

"Well aren't you precious? Craiggers gonna count down the seconds till the end when I jam a foot up his nose for pausin' the game for this retarded-ass subject?"

"What are you going to do, then?"

"For startes, I'm gonna lift my leg and piss on your game console like a pissed of animal."

"(Ignoring the fact that you called yourself an animal-) What are you going to do when I die."

"Piss in your mouth."

"Seriously, you fuck."

"Seriously. Then I suppose I'll bring you back as a zombie bum chum or somethin."

"I don't want to be a zombie."

"At least your shitty personality'll improve that way."

"Why can't you just rape my dead body, shithead?"

"Because, you sick fuck, zombies moan too, so.."

"Yeah, but they moan because they're always hungry and when they eat people."

"Hungry for my dick."

"Your fucked up fetishes aside, you can just shove a tape recorder down my throat and have it play a moan on repeat. I don't want to be a zombie."

"Ugh, guess I'll haveta experiment. Even though I suck ass at science. And math."

"Right, I'll just stay dead, thanks."

"That just means I'll have to pop down to hell more often, then."

"Aren't you sweet."

"Course I am! There's a reason I keep comin' back, ya know."

"I figured that was for the tits."

"Those too."

"Twat."

"You are what you eat, dude."

"Tch, quit ruining the moment and pick up your controler, dumbass."

"This one, or the one that's my dick?"

"You know which one I mean."

"Nope, I don't. Why don't you come over here and show me."

"God DAMMIT."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: So I've figured out what I'm missing….a disclaimer. I mean, I know I don't own Matt and Trey's precious little manwhores, you know I don't own them, but I keep forgetting to say it. I don't own.

17. Anal Retentive [Crenny]

"Dude, there are alot of things I'm up for; bondage, a little spanking, dress up, but this is where I draw the fuckin line."

"They're just little beads, don't be such a pussy. Besides, my cock is way bigger."

"No, fuck off, I'm not puttin spherical shapes into my goddamn ass."

"Whatever, bitch. We'll do it your way then."

"Yeah, thats what I thought. Now hand me that dildo and drop your drawers."

18. Compare and Contrast These Fags [Kenny and the Goth Kids]

"Life is only pain and heartache. Those conformist pieces of shit are always stomping on our inner darkness, like a stilleto heel to our souls."

"You know what sucks? Gettin hit by a bus. Ya'll should try it some time."

"You don't understand our pain you conformist asshole."

"No, I don't get why you're such weakass pussies, but I do have seen the face of Satan and boy are you fucktards in for a treat down below."

"You've seen the Prince of Eternal Darkness? What's he like?"

"He's a flaming homo, pretty much same as ya'll."

19. Taco Flavored Lips [Kenny, Clyde]

"Hey. Hey Clyde, why don't you unwrap your lips from 'round that taco and put 'em to better use on my cock?"

"W-What did you say, Kenny?! Your hood was up and I couldn't understand you."

"I said please pass the hotsauce, dude. What, that taco makin' you jizz so hard ya can't think straight?"

"Shut up about my tacos, man, they fucking rock! Better than your Pb&j."

"Oh I'd bj you and your salsa covered wang."

"Okay, now I know I heard right. Thats creeeeepyyyy!"

"So? Taco flavored blowjob my dear Mr. Donnovan? How bout right now? No one'll see us."

"Uwaahhhh! J-just leave us- me alooooonnneeee!"

"Dammit. So close to winning that bet."

20. Guilty Pleasure [Crenny]

"Ooooh c'mon Craig, stop being a raw butthole and stick it in already! Christ!"

"No. I like seeing you squirm like the little bitch you are."

"You're a sick fuck, you know that?"

"Psh, who isn't."

"Yeah, yeah, GIMMIE THAT! I'm obviously going to have to do this for you. Ass."

"You're so goddamn impatient. That one's mine, by the way."

"Fuck you, you're allergic to strawberries, slut."

"I lied."

"You son of a fuckin' bitch. Because of you I threw out perfectly good strawberry lube."

"Bitch, bitch, bitch 's all you ever do. I payed you back pleanty of ways, remember? Besides, banana is the best flavor."

"Shut the fuck up and put the goddamn poptart in, douchebag."

21. Defining Style [Kenny, Stan, mentions of Style]

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Stan the man, newest member of the buttfucking ranks."

"W-w-what? What are you talking about, dude? I'm not gay!"

"Ahh, you may say that, but Lizzie saw you getting it on it the boys bathroom fourth period."

"Th- no. No, that's not true, at all....What the hell was she doing in there in the first place?!"

" I dunno. Didn't ask. She was hidin' in one of the stalls, though."

"I KNEW I heard giggling in th- er, she's obviously lying."

"Riiiight....hmmm. Style has a nice ring to it."

"For the last time, Kenny, I'm not a fag nor am I doing faggy stuff with Kyle! He's asexual for christs sake!"

"Who ever said anythin' about Princess Kylie?"

"............Goddammit Kenny."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: HEY GUESS WHAT YA'LL?! I don't own these assholes. Which is shame, cuz they would be having a shitton (pardon the pun) of hot buttsex if so.

22. Don't Tell Chris [Crenny]

A/S/L Sexyknickers?

".....Seventeen, male, South Park Colorado. Ugh, did I really just..?"

'ooooh, seventeen and in possession of a peen? Just the way I like 'em.'

"Uh huh. Creepy. Your stats?"

'Seventeen, male, smoking hot and take a peek out your window.'

"...Really Kenny?"

"Well hey there sexyknickers, wanna 'hang out'? And by hang out I obviously mean fuck me until I can't walk straight."

"As long as you never call me that ever again."

"No promises, Craiggers."

"....Get your ass in here, idiot."

23. Perk Up, Crackbean [Crenny, Tweek]

"Heyyy there, cutie. I know what'll cure your jitters right up."

"Ack- R-really? It doesn't- Gah! involve m-my underpants does it? Cuz -Ngh!- the nomes took them."

"It has little to do with your undies on the floor and more about you on your knees with my balls in your mouth."

"Argh- W-what?! T-too much pressure! Ngh-!"

"I don't want to know what you're doing, but I have this gut feeling you're going to tell me even if I tell you to fuck off."

"Why Craiggers, how kind of you to ask! I'm curing the jitters. Its a minimal fee of your clothes on the floor and my legs wrapped around your head. Tweek is still thinking about it."

"Tweek is lying in a pool of his own piss, unconscious and twitching."

"That tells me he's a ponder-er of sorts. He just needs some time."

"Right. Of course. Anyway."

"Would you like to be cured of anything, young sir? Asshole-ism perhaps?"

"I expect to see you with your mouth wrapped around my dick in that janitors closet over there ten minutes from now."

"Its been a pleasure doing business with you, dear customer."

24. Relax, Cupcake [Kenny, Cartman]

"Dude, you don't need all that. Spread a little kindness, fatass. I'll return the favor."

"Ah do not want your faggy ass germs anywhere on mah person, Kinny. 'Sides, these are mah cupcakes."

"Who ever said my favor had anything to do with faggyness? Look who's the self assuming butthole now."

"Everybodah knows about the disgusting shit you do, and its a fact that ah have a hot hockey bod, so obviouslah your homo-hormones are probablah starving for a piece of meh."

"And I've officially lost my appetite at the mere image of a 'piece' of you. Awesome. Thanks."

"No problem. Now getcho skanky ass out of mah face and let me eat!"

"...I wonder how you even manage to find your own dick, what with all that extra fat."

"EY! Ah'm not fat, just big boned!"

"Psh, big boned my ass. Your dick probably hasn't had much action with your hand, let alone from real chick hands."

"You shutcher goddamn black mouth! The girls in this school are bitches, that's why! Ah could have any fucking girl if ah wanted! Ah'd be like EY you...you get your scrawny ass over here and-and pull that skirt down so ah can stick it inside you and pee!"

"…Uh huh. Oh, I guess you'll manage with the help of Butters, right?"

"Yeah, thats- EY! ah'm not a faggot! And even if ah was, WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE, ah definitely wouldn't fuck Butters! That's sick!"

"Whatever you say, tubby. See ya later."

"Fucking po' ass white trash, callin' me...EY! GIMMIE BACK MY GODDAMN CUPCAKE YOU SON OF A WHORE! EYYY AH'M TALKING TO YOU, KINNY! RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH, GODDAMIT!"

25. Kool-Aid Capers [Kenny, Craig]

"Just so we have the story straight: we happened to find this ice cold kool aid on the street. Kay?"

"Right. Because that's completely ordinary."

"Psh, you and your 'oh, life is supposed to be boring, blah blah blah, I talk like I have a constant head cold...' Fucking swear."

"....Ass."

"Yeah, I do have a pretty sweet one if I do say so myself."

"Uh huh, anyway, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Why am I just so goddamn sexy?"

"Not even close...Kenny, what I've been wondering is..."

"Yeeeeesss Craiggers?"

".....Where the fuck are your pants?"

"Oh, so you noticed, huh?"

"Kinda hard not to notice something like that."

"Something like my oh so sweet ass?"

"Something like your pickle boxers."

"Hehe...wanna suck on my pickle?"

"No thanks. 'm not a homo."

"Aw, Craiggers, everyone hides their gay feelings on the inside."

"Cept you."

"I like to think I'm a well rounded sexual deviant."

"Yeah, now THAT was definitely homo."

"Oh shut up and drink your kool aid before the fat ass figures out we jacked it from his fridge, fag."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Dear Everyone, I had so much fucking fun writing Kenny's sister. Love, Kes. Also, I don't own this shizz.

26.. Beggers Can't Be Choosers [Crenny]

"So why me?"

"Huh? Dude, uh..if you're gonna have an epiphany or somethin' I'mma just pull up my pants and go. I don't want no part in that deep shit."

"Not that, you cumbucket. I mean why did you approach me that day? You said you hated me, ever since that bullshit in Peru. What changed?"

"Craig. Are we seriously gonna have a faggy heart to heart? Really?"

"Answer the goddamn question, slut."

"Siiiiight. Fine. It was cuz...cuz...I wanted to see you smile."

"Homo."

"Says the bonerrangler who pounds butt."

"I don't accept that."

"What, that you don't pound butt? Dude, get rid of that denial. Its not that attractive. Matter of fact, I have some tapes here that'll clear that right up."

"Shut the fuck up, you gigantic moron. And answer the question honestly before I choke you with my fucking cock."

"Aww Craiggers, you know me so well. Death by cock isn't my favorite way to go, so I suppose I'll continue. I really just wanted to know what other kinds of tricks that middle finger of yours does. And boy-did I."

"Yup, that sounds about right. Now. About those tapes."

"Hehe, welcome to the dark side, Craiggers. We have Kenny porn."

27. Last This Day [Crenny]

"You're a fuckin retard, do you know that? You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, blondie. I'm right here. Not dead."

"But you could have died! And just to protect me, some fucker who dies and comes back all the damn time."

"You're way off base, dude. I didn't do it to protect your scrawny ass....my body moved on its own."

"That car must've scrambled your fuckin brain harder than I thought to have you quoting Naruto."

"Look, I can't talk to your dumb ass when you're clear across the other room and hysterical over my well being. Come over here, Kenny."

"No, fuck you! I'm goin' home, I don't give a shut about your stupid fuckin ass!"

"Yeah? Then why'd you stay until I woke up."

"Someone needed to make sure they didn't mistake your ugly face for a rotting corpses!"

"Ouch, that hurts my feelings. Now that you're done bitching, come over here."

"Ugly, crooked toothed, cave man-"

"Closer."

"Cum guzzling, dick gobbling-"

"Not close enough, bitch."

"Cuntwaffle, casper pale- HEY! Who the fuck gave you permission to put me in your lap?!"

"I did, so shut your goddamn mouth and settle down."

"You fu- mmph!"

"You were saying?"

"I hate you. Asshole. You almost- could have- died. And then what would I have done?"

"Is it your turn for a faggy confession or some shit."

"Fuck you!"

"Don't have to tell me twice."

"Wha- H-hey 'm not- nnngh- C-Craig you...fffffff..."

"Quit pussyfooting around. I'm not dead."

"But you- ahn- STOP DOING THAT WHEN I'M TRYIN TO MAKE A POINT!"

"Shit happens. You know that. Stop pitching a bitch over what ifs and spread your legs."

"Aha, you- mmm- a-always knew just what to say."

"I'm not going to be off-ed by something retarded like a car."

"So you admit you're stupid. Awe- gah! Don't sneak attack my butthole you dickweed!"

"I want to hear less lip and feel more tongue. Shut the fuck up. Kay, thanks."

28. Midnight Visitor [Kenny, Craig, Karen McCormmick]

"What the fuck was that."

"Huh? Dude, I'm not fallin for that again, go back to sleep, I'll fuck you in the mornin."

"That noise, shithead. Didn't you hear it?"

"No, I was sleepin, like you should be doing. Dun call me a shithead...I don't hear nothin.."

"I know I heard it. I'm not deaf and retarded unlike some cuntrags I-"

"Kenny?"

"Whaaa? Craig, seriously, go the fuck to sleep."

"That wasn't me. I don't have to voice of a goddamn little girl."

"I dunno bout that. Whenever I suck on your left nut I hear otherwise."

"K-Kenny?"

"Karen? The hell you doin still up?"

"Told you it was't me you fucking ass."

"Pipe down in front, Craiggers. Big brother business here. Karen, what's wrong? If this is about those magazines, you can borrow 'em in the mornin."

"No I...can I sleep in here tonight? I had a bad dream."

"No."

"Fuck you, Craig, you don't tell me what to do!"

"Hey, watch your mouth you little cunt, or I'll-"

"Or you'll what, flip me off? Ooh, I'm so scared of the middle finger of some pussy ass white boy."

"Thats it, I know this works on your dumbass brother, so I'm sure it'll work on your bitchass too."

"You're gonna stick your cock up my ass? Pedo alert! Real great idea, moron. Unlike him, I don't got a prostate. Kenny! Your boyfriend's tryin ta hurt me! ....Kenny?"

"He fell asleep. Awesome. Useless piece of shit..."

"Yeah well, whatever. Move your fat ass over, we can still get back to sleep before Ma and Pa start their bullshit next door."

"Fine. But I better not find your fucking hand on my junk when I wake up."

"Whatever you say, douche bag. You're not that attractive...dunno what he sees in you. Sigh. Brothers."

".....He's not my boyfriend. That's gay."

"Yes, because doing it in the butt isn't gay enough without adding the whole boyfriend tag."

"Your opinion means jack shit to me."

"Go the fuck to sleep you damn drama queen! Jesus. Kenny'll still be here to suck your balls in the mornin."

"You better be gone by then."

"Faster'n you can spell hot anal sex."

29. Grilled Cheese Caper [Stan, Kenny]

"Wow."

"SHIT! K-Kenny, man this...this isn't what it looks like. Seriously."

"Ahahaha, o-okay Stan...I'll let you try ta build me a bullshit excuse. This could be fun."

"I-I uhm. Well I was...taking a shower! yeah! You've got to get naked for that. And as I was drying off I got uh...hungry, and I just couldn't wait long enough to put clothes on. So I came down here, to the kitchen, in my towel, to make grilled cheese. The end."

"Plausible story, Stanley. But here's the real question: Where's your towlel?"

"......Goddammit Kenny. What do you want from me? To admit I religiously make grilled cheese sandwiches in the nude at midnight on saturday nights like clock work?"

"Pretty much. Also, I want half."

"...Half...?"

"Of your dick."

"W-What?! DUDE!"

"Hahahaha, calm the fuck down, Stan the man. I know your wang belongs to Princess Kylie. I meant I want half of that sandwich. I'm fuckin starvin."

"Kenny me...me and Kyle aren't even like that! Jeez, you get caught in the bathroom one time and-"

"Yeah, no, you've gotten caught at least four times. Oh and once behind the bleachers."

"Whatever, just sit down. This'll be done in a minute."

"Mmkay. Hey. You can stop shielding your junk now. I've been starin' for the past ten minutes, and the sight ain't gettin' any less dick-filled."

"Shut up, Kenny."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Wow, I'd almost forgotten about this shit. Uh. So this is a dedication to my OT3 K/C/T. I find it delicious. Sometimes I find it hard (like Kenny's cock, har har..) to characterize Thomas, and I'm focusing so much on getting his tics right that I forget he's a goddamn person. But thanks to my Thomas, I'm a bit better about it. Okay, I'm shutting the fuck up right now, fucking read the chapter, there.

30. For the Love of Shout! (or some other laundry detergent shit..) [Thomas/Craig/Kenny]

"Pretty sure you're not supposed to mix those colors together, dude."

"Can it, douche. You never wash clothes, so how the fuck would you know?"

"HEY! ....I've seen Stan wash stuff, okay? Asshole."

"Uh huh. Was that before or after the grilled cheese fu-"

"No, actually, Kenny's right (for once) dude. C-Cocknose! Sorry. Those are gonna bleach out if you wash them together."

"Oh Tommy, my hero in slightly wrinkled plaid."

"Bitch! Bitchass! Who's the one who made the wrinkles in the first place?"

"Me~~~"

"Try to curb your humble ways, please."

"You're just mad cuz I took the liberty to explore Tommy's tics. (and pants.)"

"Yeah, while I was taking a piss. Dick move."

"Guys, stop arguing and take off your pants. Cock! C-cock!"

"Hear that, Craiggers? Our innocent little Tommy is growing up and giving orders. Its so beautiful. Not to mention hot."

"Obviously so our clothes can be washed, dilhole."

"Riiiiight. Laundry. Same difference, more nakedness."

"For the last fucking time, that is NOT code for buttfucking."

"Really? But you said-"

"Oh? Yes, tell us, what did you say, Craiggers?"

"I was drunk."

"Gasp, you mean when you looked me in the eye and said 'you smell like delicious fabreez', it was all a lie?! Dickface! Dick!"

"Yes, he is a dick. For shame, Craig. For shame. Shhh, no need to cry, Tommy, let my giant cock (tm) soothe you."

"And I brought the new Shout!spring scented bottle too! Bastard. That wasn't a tic, by the way. Assfart! Fart! ...That was.."

"I hate you both."

"Alright Tommy, that's enough teasing Craig The Douche for his laundry boner. The sooner we get this shit done, the sooner his mouth is wrapped around my dick and you, my darling, are beneath me."

"Agreed! To the…getting the shit done part. I don't agree with the order of that other stuff. (I wanna top someone.) T-Turdfucker!"

"Hate."

"Stop being such a pussy and drop yer drawers already."

"Must you always say that stupid line."

"Yes."

"Dumbfuck."

"And yet you still did as you were told like a good little bitch, eh?"

"Fuck you."

"Can do. And WILL do."

"Guys! Laundry? Can't do itself? Shit!"

"Right."

"Whatever."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Me and my Stan have decided that Stan and Kenny are fucking mind twins. I really really enjoy their moments of pure…boyness. Sprinkled with the gay.

Disclaimer: If I owned them, these things would happen all the time. And they would be legal-ish. I also do not own the juggernaut, though I love that little video.

31. One of These Things is Not Like the Other [ Token, Kenny, Craig]

"Hey Kenny, my man. I need your help with something."

"Token? That you? Damn, hardly recognized you without your tongue down Bebe's throat. What can I do for you, soul brotha?"

".....Just let it go, T-man. Anyway, I need your help. With Bebe."

"You seemed to be handling yourself pretty well behind the bleachers during lunch yesterday. What's the 4-1-1?"

"She...okay. I think she's interested in this other dude, an-"

"Ah-ha, say no more, man. I gotchu."

"So you'll help me? I can pay you of course."

"Yeah, no prob. All you gotta do is show her the good ol' Chocolate Rain and she'll never be able to get enough of you."

"Chocola-....Kenny, we've already had sex."

"Fuckin seriously? Thought that dumb bitch would've known 'bout the whole 'once you go black you never go back' rule. Figures."

"Ugh, you know what, forget it. I'll just ask...someone who's not you."

"Nononono, dude, chill. I got this."

"Really."

"Yeah, you gotta eat her out."

"Like...at a fancy restaurant? Because I've already got that covered."

"No, like, at her fancy huge vagina. All you gotta do is This. Repeat after me."

"Token, I've no idea why you think its a good idea to ask Kenny here how to eat a girl out, but you should definitely walk away now before he tries to give you any more advice."

"Craiggers! Stop ruinin' business! First with Crack Bean and now with Token! ....How'd you know I was teaching Black Thunder how to eat puss, anyway?"

"Black....Thunder...?"

"You were making those retarded (more so than usual) facial expressions and wiggling your tongue around. And when you started waving your hands and grinning like you just scored, I knew."

"Baww, you know me so well. Now, Black Thun-"

"That's it. I'm done. I'm going to take Bebe out to eat food, buy her shoes, the normal stuff. I won't stand for this racism anymore."

"Nice going, dipshit."

"Wha- but my money! And besides, Black Thunder isn't racist! Its a term of endearment! Hell, there's a comic book hero named that and nobody pulls the race card! Ugh. Fucking cheap asshole."

"Black Lightning."

".....Fuck you, Craig."

"Don't mind if I do."

"Well alright. You could call this my lunchtime meal, heh. Here in the closet, my good sir?"

"For the sake of consistency, just get your ass in there and shut the hell up."

"Whatever. I'm leaving the light on, though. Last time I got stuck in a bucket."

"Heh. Good times."

32. Blue Suede Dick [Stan, Kenny]

"Man, it is gonna be a great night. And damn do I look sexy. Stan the Man is on the prowl in powder blue."

"Yup. That shade on you's great. Really brings out the blue of your eyes as well as the pointy-ness of your boner."

"Why thank you Kenneth, I couldn't agree mo-...What."

" 'M just sayin. This shindig certainly has you excited."

"I-What-C'mon Kenny. I dunno what you're talking about. I totally don't have a boner."

"Mhm? Then what's this? Care to explain?"

"Ohmygod don't do that!"

"Convinced now? Or do I have to give you a little more proof? Rather, would you like more proof?"

"Yeah, fine, okay, yes, I have a boner, now will you quit molesting me in public, please?!"

"Hah, so you'd rather I take care of you in some secluded corner of the gym?"

"Yes. No. Whatever just. Shut up, Kenny."

"Mmmnaw, I like to hear myself talk."

"....I didn't say you could stop it with the hand motions."

"Oh? I think I clearly heard you say somethin' along the lines of...what was it, now? Oh yeah. 'stop molesting me in public!'"

"Goddammit, Kenny. I was clearly lying. Even you should pick up on that."

"I did, I just wanted to hear you admit it, fag."

"'m not a faaag."

"Says the awkward boner poking my thigh."

33. Giddy'up Cowboy [Thomas/Kenny/Craig]

"I can't believe I let you do that shit to me."

"I- c-cock! Excuse me. I can't believe you said you were going to ride me 'like a marvelous plaid stallion into the setting sun'."

"Hey. I am a man of my word. The only thing that could've made the experience more real is a cowboy hat and a whip."

"You mean you don't own those things? I'm shocked. Ass!Assshit!"

"No, no, I do Tommy. I just forgot to bring them in my stupor to get you both naked."

"Hey, you know some of us are trying to fucking sleep. Shut the fuck up."

"That's the sound of you sleeping? Why, that sounds like the distinct noise of you bitching. I could be mistaken, though. What do you think, Tommy?"

"Awwshit! Shit! I think he's mad."

"Like, crazy or angry? Actually, scratch that, he's usually a pretty good mix of both. Oi, don't you raise that finger at me."

"What're you going to do about it."

"I'm gonna put it somewhere."

"Then get over here and try. I triple dog dare you."

"Again? Shit. (not a tic, by the way.)"

"A dare you say? Craiggers, don't you know who I am?"

"Not the juggernaut. Donkey boner!"

"I'm Krazy Kenny. Now bend over and let me do my thing. Well, do yours, technically. Teehee..."

"Sick, don't you teehee me. Though I don't suppose, with that mouth of yours put to good use, no one's ever told you how goddamn corny you are."

"Corny? Me? Craig, that hurts. Right here."

"You're totally pointing at your dick, dude. Ass!"

"Ass indeed. So, you're gettin' quite excitable with a lapful of McCormmick, babe. You wouldn't be the first."

"Cocknose! Ahem. Your point?"

"My point is, Tucker needs to get his giant boner self over here and contribute too."

"I'm comfortable over here. (not to mention lazy.)"

"Then I guess -ass!- guess we've got to bring the collective to him, then?"

"Great thinkin', Tommy! Heh. You're learnin."

"Dammit. Now I'm never gonna get any sleep. This blows."

"Don't worry Craiggers, you'll forget alllll about it once you bend over."

"C-cock! cock! Sorry, it slipped."

"You're so encouraging."

"Its a gift."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Don't own because if I did, even more gay would be sprinkled into the series.

Notes: Another guest appearance by Token and some more Kenny and Stan shenanigans. Also, the credit of the brilliant lines of Stan go to my own brilliantly hilarious Stan via twitter, as per usual. She knows who she is, and I'll always be so fucking grateful.

34. Inner Soul [Kenny, Token]

"C'mon, dude. Say it."

"No. I refuse."

"C'monnnnnnn, Black Thunder~ Say it~"

"No. And don't call me that horrible nickname."

"Duuuuude. Y'know ya wanna. Jus' let it out. Listen to yer soul. 's cryin' out 'Toooooooken. Toooooken~ Say it~ and don't be a douche and insult Kenny's wiiiiiiiitttt~"

"Stop poking me. No. I won't degrade myself like that. It's embarrassing."

"Token. Man."

"..........Fine, fine. If only to shut you up. Sigh. Ahem. 'Where all the white women at?"

"Ahahahahahahahaha priceless! Oh fuck. No, now, put this cowboy outfit on an' say it...Token? OH COME ON!"

35. Stanley and Kenny's Scottish Adventure [Kenny, Stan]

"So, I think the blue'll really bring out yer eyes."

"Kenny...Why do you have kilts? Multiple kilts. At that."

"....'S my heritage. S'why."

"Kenny. You. Are. Irish. I'm the Scottish one!"

" 'M sure I have some Scottish in me somewhere. 'Sides, this is yer chance ta really bond with yer heritage, man."

"Dude. You are not going to make me go out in this."

"Mayyyyybe not, but we could have a good ol' time indoors, spendin' some time allllll ta ourselves."

"You're going to make me wear this in public, aren't you."

"Yes, yes I am."

"Dammit Kenny. Oohhh no, wipe that smirk off your face. I am not going commando."

"Dude, ya haveta. 'S tradition."

"I...No. Nononononono. It's...its a bad idea, dude."

"S' tradition. Dude. Dun disrespect my ancestors with yer pussyfooted 'tude. Not cool."

"Your ance- Look. Let's call this what it is. You don't give a shit about tradition. You just want to get me into a skirt. Without underwear. With you. In. Public."

"Ya may be right, Stanley, but the fact of the matter is: Don't be an asshole an' drop yer fuckin' panties."

"Aaaagh...well, maybe- NO. If you want me out of these you are going to have to wrestle me out of them. I will put up a fight."

"Fine , Stanley. Ya leave me NO. CHOICE. Ya asked fer it ya fuckin' butt plug."

36. Kenny's Thoughts on Tradition (In Stereo) [Kenny, Stan]

"Kenny, If I have to wear this goddamn thing, I am going to wear undies!"

"Dude. Like I said. Tradition."

"No it's not! You just want to molest me with less layers of clothing on for you to bypass!"

"Stan. Stop dissin' my heritage."

"YOU ARE NOT EVEN SCOTTISH! IT'S MY HERITAGE!"

" 'M sure there's some Scottish up in there. My family's bound ta have slept 'round. Yanno. 'M sure some illegit babiess popped out at some point. Some poor Scottish bastard probably stumbled here after the potato famine- Oh wait, that's Irish again. Whatever. I don't fuckin' know about the culture. All I know is: Yer gonna feel the wind in yer pubes. And yer gonna enjoy it. Now shut up and drop yer fuckin' panties."

37. Crotch Caper [Kenny, Stan]

"Kenny. Really. We're in public."

"So? 'S not like they've never seen my dick in all it's glory while I've streaked naked through the streets, drunk or high off cat piss. Or both."

"That's true...Still, you should be more careful..."

"Speakin' of which: ya might not wanna sit like that, dude."

"WOW. NICE OF YOU TO TELL ME. HOW LONG AS IT BEEN LIKE THAT."

"Well, I'll assume 's been twisted that way all yer life, but who am I ta judge?"

"KENNY."

"Okay, jeez! I'd say get yer panties untwisted but seein' as yer not wearin' 'em...no need to gesture at me, 's only been bout fifteen minutes, give or take. Unless ya weren't talkin' bout the time..."

I WAS. So. You're saying. Everyone we've seen in the past fifteen minutes. Has seen my junk."

"Mnm, basically. Dun worry, man. 'M sure they'll forget seein' you in all yer glory....hotrod. Pfffftt..."

"This is really not the time for that nickname. Approximately twenty two people saw my dick....Awesome."

"Didja count me in that? Cuz I've been starin' fer at least ten minutes, ya were none the wiser."

"Not. Helping. Kenny."

" 'M jus' sayin'. Now ya know what it's like ta be a chick in a whore-ishly short skirt with her panties stickin' out. Congrats, dude. Makin' progress."

"More like now I know how it feels like to be...suicidal."

"Aww, Stan. It's not that deep, dude. Chillax. Yanno how this town is. They'll forget with the next crisis."

"This town. Is small. Which means everyone. Is going. To hear. About my crotch caper."

"....Pfffft Crotch caper, s' a good one!....Anyway, even if they hear 'bout it, it'll be yesterday's news sooner or later. Chillax."

"Fine.....And close your legs. People are staring."

"Hmmmm? Does my shlong offend you, Stanley?"

"Wh-wha- No. But you're...we're out. There are people. STARING."

"So? Let 'em. Again, not like the majority ain't never seen my dick."

"I just....we're the table of flashers now. You realize this. A couple of flashers. Okay Look. This is embarrassing for me. Not to mention distracting..."

"Dude. I've always been labeled a flasher. I dun give a fuck. It's my body....ya like the show, eh?"

"Yes. I do. Like the show. But right now we. Are. In. Public. In. Skirts."

"Kilts. They are called Kilts, Stan. Tsk, see, this is why ya gotta learn more 'bour yer heritage."

"I know what they're called! Kenny....I really wish you would put your shlong away."

"I dun wanna- Colonel Bad Touch feels free out here. Don't you?"

"Oh god. Dude. Cut it out. This...is really...counterproductive to my attempt at not being completely humiliated. Again."

"Ain't nothin' wrong with a lil public masturbation. I suppose I could help you out. And not jus' myself."

"Nononononono. Ken. I draw the line there. I will let you do alot of things. I let you film me. Often. But this...No."

"Heh, yeah, often. So what do you suppose we do, Mr. Marsh?"

"Kenny. I'm serious. Don't."

"What. Do you. Suppose. We. Do?"

"I don't...shit...I'm knocking things over...I...elsewhere. Let's go elsewhere. Thought I was going to have to yell rape for a second there."

"Psh, its not rape if ya want it, babe. So where to?"

"Whatever. I don't care. Just. Somewhere. Not. Public."

"How 'bout we mosey on back ta yer place, set up a cam, hmm? How 'bout it, hotrod?"

"Yeah. That. Let's do that. Oh. Fuck. I'm going to have to stand up. Fuck."

"C'mon princess, up an at 'em. Whassa matter?"

"Don't be an asshole. Let's just get this walk of shame over with."

"After you, m'lady."

"I'm going, I'm going."

* * *

And then the two twins friends streaked the rest of the way to Stan's house. Kenny was so damn proud of Stan for not being a big goddamn prude. *sniff*


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I, once again, do not own a goddamn thing. I am responsible for Kenny's cracky lines and for bringing the others lines into the light of day.

Notes: These lines are, once again, NOT taken out of context, and belong to my lovely twitter babies who rp these whores. Guest appearances by Damien, Tweek, and Butters.

38. Sex-Ed with Kenny n' Damien [Kenny, Damien]

"As if you could convince one to go in your room anyway."

"Ohhh, plenty o' peeps wanna go at my room…especially my bed."

"What, is it exceptionaly painful or something? Fuck yes, I approve."

"I s'ppose I can make it painful, if ya want. Though 'm not really inta that myself."

"I don't get it. Into what?"

"That hardcore painful shit. I dun like it fer me, but hey, if that's what gets ya off, be my guest."

"Off what? Off the bed? Then why ask in the first place, you fuckwit."

"No, like, gets yer dick off. Yanno. Bonerations. ….When mommy an' daddy are very, very drunk…"

"Dick? I have lots of those. O-or dad does. Dick Clark, Dick Van Dyke, Dick Kensington…which do you mean?"

"Babe, the dick in yer pants."

"Oh. Well. Why would I want to get that off? I thought it was supposed to stay attached."

"It _is _supposed ta stay attached. But it's normal ta play with it an' jack off. Hence, the phrase, 'off'. Masturbate. Ya feel me?"

"Why?"

"Cuz it feels real fuckin' good. Especially if ya put yer dick in hot, tight, wet holes."

"Oh, are you finally starting your transformation into one of the demons of the Evil Overlord's Army? Horns are a prerequisite."

"Nonono, horny is 'nother phrase fer bein' aroused. Okay, now 'm imaginin' what ya can do with horns…"

"But I don't have any."

"Trust me, ya got a very nice horn jus' waitin' ta be used. An' by that, I once again mean the dick in yer pants."

"You're full of shit, as swipe. That's for taking a piss, the end. Your jokes fucking suck."

"s not _jus'_ fer takin' a piss, ya goddamn brat. It's fer fuckin' procreation. Fuckin'. _Babies_. Or pleasure."

"Andyoufelttheneedtotellmethiswhy?"

"Cuz one day some pretty lil thing's gonna catch yer eye an' you'll be hella embarrassed if ya dun know this shit."

"I don't have time for such things. I-I'm training to be the next Satan, s-so…"

"Well _you_ were born ta Satan (somehow) an' yer gonna need an' heir someday…plus s'fun. Chill out. _Shit_."

"…Does this come with a manual or something? E-book? Lifetime Warranty?"

"Not really a lifetime warranty, seein' as Viagra'll be needed eventually. A manual, eh, more like ya live an' learn as ya go."

39. The Thing About April First [Stan, Kenny]

"Oh shit. I forgot it's April Fool's. Kenny, I have my eye on you."

"Yer eye an' yer dick, amirite? Get ready, hotrod."

"You leave my dick out of this."

"We can't ever leave yer dick outta this, babe."

"Out of what? …Kenny. You're scaring me. You know how I get on this day."

"I mean outta anythin', Stan. Chill. Sheesh, get that sand outta yer vag, dude."

"Shut up, Kenny. You know April Fool's makes me jumpy."

"Calm the fuck down, Sharon. Jesus christ."

"It's your fault, anyway."

"Whatevs, bitch. Yer jus'a scaredy cat. It ain't gonna be any worse than its been. Probably."

"I don't see how it _could_ be any worse than sixth grade. You put half a bottle of ranch dressing in my football helmet. When I went to wash it off, you'd peed on all the towels in the locker room. And if that wasn't enough, you left a dead bird on my porch, along with a sad story about how it died."

"First of all: calm down, _Mary_. The bird was dead when I found i-"

"Then how do you know how it died?!"

"Stan. I really doubt that bird died tryin' ta rescue a kitten from a burnin' house. Plus, I dun have 'nuff piss ta piddle on all th'towels. Musta been some other fucker."

"Kenny. I've heard you piss first thing in the morning, several times. It goes on for like, fucking twenty minutes."

"…Why're you listenin' ta me take a leak you sick _fuck_."

"Because it's so fucking loud it wakes me up, jackass!"

"Whatever, yer probably jus' waitin' fer me at piss, ta take some sorta sick pleasure outta it. I see you, Stanley."

"That's gross, Kenny."

"I know, Stan. I know. S'why I dun get why ya do it."

"Kenny. Its not my fault. That every time you stay over. At my house. I get woken up. By goddamn Niagara Falls."

"Stanley. S'not my fault that. Ya get boners fer rootbeer, my urine. An' countless other shit. Watersports, man? You've stooped so damn low."

"Kenny. I do not get a boner. From your urine. Or rootbeer. Also, I just gagged. Thank you."

"Stanley. S'time ta face the truth. Listen ta yer heart. Also, yer wlecome."

"Kenny. No. That's nasty. I am listening to my heart. And it says if you ever pee on me. I'm going to kick you in the balls."

"Stanley. If ya ever shit on me, I'm leavin' you. So we're even. I'm also listen' ta my heart. An' it's tellin' me ta bite yer dick 'fore ya even get within inches of mine."

"Fuck you, Kenny. Don't bite my dick."

"When an' where, Stanley~"

"Hmm. I might be able to pencil you in tomorrow."

"Alrighty, then. Dun keep me waitin."

40. Kitchen Kreepin' [Kenny, Butters, mento candy]

"Awww jee, Kenny, my dad's g-gonna ground me for t-this."

"Buttercup. Yer lookin' in the bottom drawer of my fridge fer that candy I promised ya. What could possibly make 'im ground ya fer that?"

"C-cuz, well, I'm sure I forgot t-ta organize the pantry again. A-an ya know what they say a-"

"Organized fuckin' pantry means a happy pantry boner fer daddy. Got it."

"Well, n-no- oh golly!"

"Hmmm? Whassa matter, Buttercup?"

"There's s-something hard poking m-mee in my fanny! _O-oh_, its hot, too…"

"Damn rig- er, s' a new nifty feature in yer pants- heatin' an' coolin'. An' pokin."

"But t-these 'er the ones I usually w-wear and this-"

"Hey _look, _I think I see the candy!"

"Really?! Oh _goody_! Hey, the pants h-heater poker thingie's getting' _bigger_."

"That's what she said."

"Huh? Sh-she who?"

Nevermind- _look~, _candy!"

"Yay!…..aw-aww, its just an old mento."

"Better luck next time, babe."

41. Disney Boners [Stan, Kenny, The Lion King]

"Stanley Marsh gets boners from disney movies. That is all."

"What the fuck?! Where did that come from?"

"Dude. Really. We know it's true."

"Damaging. Lies."

"Complete an' utter truths."

"How would you even- it's not true!"

"s' totally true. Ya can't deny it forever."

"It is not!"

"Is too."

"You have no evidence that that is true."

"Yanno, I have plenty o'evidence."

"Y-you do not!"

"Stanley. Yanno what 'm talkin' about."

"That doesn't _count_, Kenny."

"That totally counts, dude, cuz we were watchin' the Lion King an' ya suddenly popped a boner when Nala an' Simba were cuddlin."

"There were a lot of other contributing factors. Namely your hand."

"Now, ya already had a boner 'fore my hands were down yer pants. Simba an' Nala action does that to ya, I reckon."

"No, it does not! That was all you, not the movie. That incident doesn't count."

"Ya already had a boner 'fore I even touched ya, an' I can prove it. Simba' an' Nala turned ya on."

"You cannot prove it."

"member our frequent vids?"

"Oh, _fuck you_."

"When an' where, hotrod? Dun worry, man, that lil tidbits' be kept 'tween you, me, an' princess."

"You totally exploited the fact that I had a secret childhood crush on Aladdin. And that other time doesn't even count either."

"Ya jus' did that yerself. Nice job, dumbass. I said nothin' 'bout Aladdin."

"m just saying."

"Yeah, an' all I can hear is _sniff, Mufasa, fapfapfap, ohoho, Aladdin, you naughty boy, fapfapfap_."

"I hate you _so_ much right now."

"Ohhh, I can think'a somethin' ta solve that right up. Get it. Up. _Heh_."

"_Ugh_."

"Cheer up, cockmeisterflux. It'll be okay."

"I appreciate the encouragement."

"s'what 'm here for. Aside from playin' with dicks."

42. The Fight [Kenny, Stan, Tweek, Weaponoftwitchydestruction]

"Okay, okay. In all seriousness, dudes. Did anyone jus' picture Crackbean in a battle charge with a coffee pot? Cuz I totes did. _Pffft_."

"Dude, that's…hilariously wrong."

"Whydoesnobodyevertakemeseriously?!"

"_Pffft_ oh god. Really, Kenny. But in all seriousness, dude. I feel like that kid would be deadly with a sharp object. Legit."

"Crackbean, dude, no. That is fuckin' scary. I wouldn't fuck with ya when yer pissed an' armed."

"Tweek, I do take you seriously, honestly. I feel like I would not want you mad at me, either."

"I feel a Chuck Norris joke in there somewhere, but I'mma rise above it."

"Don't do it, Kenny."

"Good! C-cause I _mean_ it! Gah!"

"I know ya do, babe, I know. Dun worry, yer very badass."

"Like I said. You with a knife would be scary shit. Or like…a club or mace…yeah…"

"nnnghthankyoufortheidea!"


End file.
